Birmingham programme notes 2010

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(as written by Bratters)

[admin]

Welcome this evening to all of the Birmingham and Stoke riders, officials and supporters for this, the start of the 2010 campaign and a season that will hopefully see the Brummies bag some silverware. A big welcome, and grateful thanks also, to all the Brummies voluntary staff, without whom, we would not be able to operate here at Perry Barr, so smoothly.

I can’t believe the new season is here, the close season seems to have passed in the blink of an eye, it must be an age thing.

Gary has asked me to pen some notes in the programme each week and I told him I was quite happy to do this as long as he was prepared to pay the fines the Speedway Association normally impart on me for my inane ramblings. Just go easy he said, so we’ll take it steady initially and “bank” a bit of credit, before testing the water!

Of course the Premier League is a new departure for me, as it is for Gary and it’s a good job we have Graham at the club, for without him I dread to think what sort of a side we would have put together. I didn’t really know Graham, or Denise for that matter, before I arrived at Perry Barr, but I have been impressed with their professionalism and commitment to the Brummies cause in the role of Team Manager and Club Administration respectively, it has been a refreshing change for me after some of the clowns I have previously had to work with.

Throughout the winter months a lot of hard work has been going on behind the scenes to ensure everything is in place for when the big day finally arrives. No one has worked harder than our Commercial Manager, Joe Mclaughlin who in a tremendously difficult economical climate, really has brought home the bacon. With my own experience in commercial activities, it became obvious to me within minutes of first meeting Joe, that here was someone who knew what he was talking about. Joe’s enthusiasm for Birmingham Speedway is infectious, his attention to detail bordering on obsessive, all of which are the ideal traits required for the important commercial role. Joe has delivered for Birmingham Speedway during the close season, there is no doubt about that and I know that Gary will agree with me on this, Joe has been a brilliant signing for the Brummies. However, it is important to note that the club and Joe are always on the look out for new sponsors. Perhaps your employers may be interested in the Brummies success story or maybe a group of you would like to celebrate an occasion by getting together and being one of our match sponsors this season?

The close season also saw another first for the sport, with hardly any tinkering with the rules. What a refreshing change that was. All we need to do now is reprint the rules in black and white rather than the current dull shade of grey. Hopefully, with a new top table in place at the BSPA we will get some consistency and transparency in the application of the rules, for this is surely the perceived biggest annoyance for everyone connected with the sport, especially supporters.

Another gripe amongst fans is the team building point’s limit that has to be adhered to. Unfortunately it is a necessary evil, to give every club a fair crack of the whip. The only way we could remove the point’s limit is to have every club owned by a philanthropist; presently, and thankfully, there is only one of those in our sport.

So, here we sit on the crest of a new, and what I am sure will be, exciting season of Speedway action. Let’s all work together and pull in the same direction to bring this great club some success. Please support your club not only here at Perry Barr, but at home and in your workplace. Spread the word, the Brummies are here and here to stay, don’t keep it to yourself, share it with others!

Enjoy tonight’s racing.

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[admin]

“Bringing on back the good times
Taking away the pain
You're bringing on back the good times
And I'm living on air
So glad that you're there
Sweeping away the sad times
Making me laugh again”

The Love Affair

I thought this was a very apt choice of music from David Rowe as we all left Perry Barr last Wednesday night, having witnessed a great season opening victory by our Brummies against the Potters. It does feel like the good times are here both on and off the track as everything clicked into place. Unfortunately, the song followed me in my head on the journey home and to bed. It was floating around still when I woke up in the morning, all day in my office and I finally succumbed into downloading the tune whilst trying to catch up on the important events of Gail McIntyre (formerly Platt, Tilsley, Potter etc.) being held in custody for suspected murder of her 35th husband – that’s Coronation Street for those of you without televisions or recently migrated here from Eastern Europe.

I never usually single out any one rider’s performance after a victory such as last weeks, but can I just say, Justin Sedgeman? My good friend Hans Andersen, who has lived with me now for 7 years after originally asking to stay for one night, said to me a while ago that he thought Justin would have a great future in the sport. Hans, as ever, has proved to be a shrewd judge of a rider and I was very, very impressed, with Justin.

Onto Saturday night and I was disappointed that our return meeting with the Potters, fell foul of the weather. I think the last time I went to a meeting at Stoke, the old King was on the throne and I was looking forward to visiting Loomer Road once again. Unfortunately, a prior engagement on the Sunday meant that I could not get to the re-staging. And, what a performance by the Brummies to capture the first trophy of the season! My disappointment at not attending the match was compounded as I wanted to see what the M6 trophy actually looked like. I am expecting, in a typical Speedway style, that it will be either a lump of tarmac or a traffic cone mounted on a plastic, faux mahogany, plinth.

“Silence is golden, but my eyes still see
Silence is golden, golden
But my eyes still see”

The Tremeloes

Maybe this should be on the Perry Barr playlist as well, after the events of the last week. Isn’t it typical? Last week I talked of my hopes and expectations about how the sport in this country is going to be administered going forward with a new top table and just two days into the season – that’s two days in case you missed it - a decision is made to give a couple of months grace for riders to use the old type silencers! I was amazed at this decision, even though really it should not have come as such a surprise, given our sports penchant for knee jerk reactions and clouting its collective self, as often as possible, in the nuts. I know that the directive to use new silencers has caused controversy throughout the sport – and let’s face it what major change with anything in life doesn’t – but it is not like this has been the best kept secret in the sport for the last couple of years, is it! Surely giving people a couple (or more) years notice about such a significant change, gives the manufacturers, the tuners, the baker, the candlestick maker and the rider’s, ample opportunity to be prepared and ready. Instead it now looks like this ‘research’ will be crammed into the next eight weeks. Crazy.

I understand only to well that the silencer issue is a major concern to us all here in Birmingham. I don’t really want to embroil myself in this issue, there are more cleverer people than me already carrying our torch, but what I would say – as almost an outsider, looking in, so to speak – it is the FIM who are pushing this new silencer directive through worldwide and I strongly suspect they are wanting this to happen because of some EU directive decided by some environmentalist aged 103 years old, wearing sandals and a tank top, residing in a dusty office in the bowels of Brussels, so in my mind, it will happen.

On race days you will normally find me floating around the admissions area and it was great last week that so many of you stopped to speak to me and mostly I found supporters to have a positive view on 2010, which is great. Please, though, if you do have any issues, problems or suggestions, make sure you come and approach me and discuss them with me. I am a great believer that our supporters know best and I will always listen to you. You may not like the answer some times, but I guarantee you, that it will be an honest answer.

Onto tonight then and the first visit of the season by a strong looking Sheffield Tigers side. A welcome to the promotion team of Neil Machin, David Hoggart and Eric Boocock, their officials, riders, mechanics and most importantly, their supporters, you are all very welcome here at Perry Barr. We hope you enjoy your evening with us, watch your side get beat and have a safe journey back to Yorkshire.

Come on you Brummies!

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“The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.”
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Don’t you just love the good old British weather? Last week’s postponement against Sheffield was the proverbial Promoters nightmare. Heavy rain was forecast to arrive between 8:30pm and 9:15pm and we had a few spots before 6:00pm. We delayed opening the stadium to supporters as long as we could and by about 6:25pm it began to look brighter. I kind of knew in my heart of hearts though that we were on a wing and a prayer and right on cue, it chucked it down just before the scheduled start time. I think everyone could see that any attempt at racing would have been pointless and I was impressed at how supporters from both clubs accepted our fate gracefully.

The last time a postponement like this happened to me was when Belle Vue visited Peterborough a couple of years ago and it was not the pleasantest of experiences as the visiting supporters appeared to want to make me personally responsible for the weather and subsequent postponement. I did however survive to tell the tale…..just, but it’s no fun being as popular as a politician at confessional, I can assure you.

I bumped into a very wet Brian Buck last Wednesday night (not quite as wet as me, I would point out, because I was wetter than wet) and he was more frustrated by the postponement than most people. Brian reeled off a list of postponed meetings he had not attended so far this season and for our opening night challenge he had been outside the stadium observing noise tests that were being undertaken. I have no doubt that for our meeting with Redcar, there will be no rain related issues, as once again, Brian will be outside the stadium on noise observation duty, but if we have rain problems on Good Friday, I can see that not only may we have to organise some kind of therapy for Brian, we may well have to consider enforcing an exclusion zone for him around Perry Barr!

It’s quite amusing in the pits area on days when there is rain about. Everyone and I mean everyone, turns into a budding Michael Fish. You will hear a variety of opinions on what the God’s are going to chuck at us and at what time and any mere mention, in an authoritative voice, about the latest rain band on satellite imagery that has just been received on their mobile phone, is usually received with an almost envious contempt by others close by. At the end of the day, if it’s going to rain, it’s going to rain and there is nothing we can do about it.

“Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.”
Ray A. Kroc

I know it’s early days, but I don’t think any of us can have any complaints about our Brummies side, thus far. Gary mentioned in his programme notes a couple of weeks ago that he likened the Speedway season to that of the Grand National Horse Race. Whilst I agree with that, you do have to have a horse good enough to compete and I feel our “chargers” have so far proved they are good enough to do well in the Premier League. We must however not get carried away. Complacency leads to sloppiness and sloppiness usually leads to injuries in Speedway, which is critical to a sides title ambitions. We all, riders, management and supporters, must remain 100% focussed, positive and committed and hopefully we will get our just rewards. I am a firm believer that you make your own luck in this sport, by the amount effort you put into it.

Incidentally, the Speedway Star almost killed my cat as it came through our letterbox last Thursday, such was the weight of it. The experts are predicting a first place finish for the Brummies, but we all need to be mindful that Speedway is raced on the track and not in the Speedway Star or in the mind of experts. There is much work to be done.

“Every little helps.”
Some woman with an annoying voice from Tesco ;D

Depending on what day you are reading this, we welcome the promoters, riders and supporters of Redcar and Scunthorpe, here to Perry Barr. With two meetings in three days we have decided to produce a slightly bigger programme covering both meetings to save our supporters a little expense. We fully understand that two meetings in three days can be challenging to the wallet or purse, and although we have had to raise the cover price by 50p we hope the overall saving of £2 helps in some small way.

Unfortunately I will not be present for the Good Friday meeting as I have a long time prior engagement in London, which could potentially result in divorce should I reschedule it, but I have no doubt that Gary will keep me informed via text on Friday night with what is happening here at Perry Barr and hopefully it will be maximum points for the Brummies from both of these meetings.

Please enjoy both meetings here at Perry Barr on Wednesday and Friday, thank you for your continued support and I would like to take this opportunity in wishing you all a very Happy Easter.

On with the action…..

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[admin]

Dear Diary…(The life and times of a Speedway Promoter aged 51¾) ;D

Sunday April 4th

Wahay…there is a brief respite in Britain’s monsoon season (I blame it on Global Warming, Gordon Brown and the BSPA) and we are back racing at Perry Barr and our heroes effortlessly dispatch the Scorpions. It looked to me like we never got out of first gear to be honest, but I am sure if we needed to up the gears, we could and would have done. So our supporters can go home with a smile on their faces, or so you would have thought. Not so. The announcement regarding only food purchased in the stadium can be consumed in the stadium, has gone down like a lead balloon. Now, I’ll be honest with you, I have been pretty surprised that this rule has not been in place before, it is the normal practice in most stadiums I visit. We have a fantastic relationship with our landlords and if they wish to implement this rule, then I am afraid we must abide by the decision. I have heard mutterings from supporters about the quality of the fayre on offer, so I purposely did my own research on Sunday. I have to say, the Cheeseburger and Coffee that I had, were very enjoyable. On behalf of you all, I intend to go through the complete menu in the coming weeks, but let’s keep this between you and me, as I am supposed to be on a diet.

Tomorrow, (Monday), is D-Day in the Bratley household, specifically in the Bratley bedroom. Unfortunately “D” stands for decorating and not debauchery. I now have a 90 minute journey home where I have got to think up an excuse to inform my wife that the decorating is going to be postponed yet again, because I will be going to Rye House tomorrow night.

Monday April 5th

My wife is not speaking to me today. As I drive alone to Rye House with her voice still ringing in my ear, I feel it’s time for reflection. 18 months ago I bought paint for our bedroom, does paint go off? What colour was it? More importantly, can we get a win tonight or would I be happy with a point?

I don’t get the Rye House track. Bends 1 and 2 must be 40 feet wide but because of the adverse camber, riders all head for the same 8 feet of the track. Len Silver likes it that way because it makes his track “unique”. Well, I can confirm, it is pretty much unique. I feel the viewing TV audience will have been entertained, albeit not quite on the edge of their collective seats. The turning point was the “Sedgehammers” fall, but we can’t complain, a point at Rye House should not be sniffed at. I’m happy.

Tuesday April 6th

What on earth possessed me to paint our bedroom green and purple? Was this choice 18 months ago on the back of a heavy night out at our local? I am now painting for Great Britain. It is a painting frenzy. If painting were an Olympic sport, I could be a candidate for 2012. My wife is happy. The silence has changed to grunts, she even made me a cup of tea.

Wednesday April 7th

My back hurts, my neck hurts, my arm hurts and my wrist hurts, even my fingers are numb. Soon my ears are going to hurt as I contemplate breaking the news to my wife that I am having an evening out in Redcar tomorrow. It’s such a shame as she is talking to me today, impressed with the previous days painting efforts.

Thursday April 8th

My wife is not speaking to me today. Despite explaining that I am putting a good painting shift in before I depart, she is not best pleased. The journey to Redcar is time for further reflection. Actually, the green and purple bizarrely go well together, I wonder if she will get the second coat of green on the wall before I get home? More importantly, I reckon we can get a win at Redcar, and sure enough the boys deliver. Redcar were “Sedgehammered” (I like that word and make no apologies for pinching it off the Brummies forum – yes, I am an avid reader), another fine team performance, I reckon I could get used to this. A time for further contemplation on the drive home. I wonder if she managed to get that second coat of green on. Crikey, she is going to go crazy when I tell her it’s Scunthorpe tomorrow night.

Friday April 9th

Phew! The decorating is over by lunchtime. Telling my better half that I am off to Scunthorpe tonight is going to be a doddle. “What..not again. How many fixtures do they ****** well have in the ****** Premier League? What do you mean it’s the ****** Premier Trophy, is that like the Craven Shield? Whatever. Do what you like. You will anyway…..” I journeyed north with my good friend Steve Dixon, who just happens to be the track photographer at Scunthorpe. Don’t mention this to the wife, but this “little arrangement” was made over a week ago. Scunthorpe is a new venue for me to chalk off. I was impressed with the speedy track, but I was very impressed with the Steak Pie on offer. Now I’m no Egon Ronay, but the Scunthorpe Steak Pie is to be recommended and the Scorpions are definitely in the Elite League for Steak Pies. If Typhoo put the “T” in Britain, then Scunthorpe definitely put the Steak in pies. It was another good win for the Brummies and once again the “Sedgehammer” does the business and even took some advice from Hans Andersen who called us during the meeting to check on progress. I make “Sedge” currently number 1 in the averages, which is not bad for a reserve, although the meeting was somewhat overshadowed with the injury to David Howe in heat 1 and I am sure you will join me in wishing David a speedy recovery.

Wednesday April 14th

Welcome then this evening to the riders, mechanics, promotional team and most importantly the supporters of the Stoke Potters to Perry Barr. It’s fair to say the Potters have not had the best of starts to the season and I am pretty sure that we are not going to change that for them tonight. Unfortunately I am to miss this evenings meeting as I have a long term engagement to celebrate 75 years of Peterborough United Football Club – please, put all sarcastic comments on a postcard and send them to me here at the club. I am gutted that I shall miss our meeting, but I know Patch will keep me informed of progress throughout the night. Enjoy the show and I look forward to seeing you all next week or at Sheffield tomorrow night (wife permitting).

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[admin]

Volcanic Eruption sends Speedway fixtures into disarray.
It’s not exactly a headline I would have predicted this time last week and it must surely be a first for our sport, who would have thought it eh? It does, however, underline the heavy reliance of our sport, and in particular, the Elite League, on foreign riders flying in to the UK to compete in our leagues. Clubs are often criticised for their employment of foreign riders and Birmingham has not escaped such criticism for their policy of team building in 2010. My answer to this is simple; I would build a team entirely of Swahili nationals if I thought it would bring success. The problem in the UK is that our sport’s efforts at the grass roots level has been pretty appalling and yet there is some natural talent out there, grasstracker, Tom Perry recently riding for Dudley and debuting for the Brummies at Stoke last Saturday night, is a fine example.

It comes down though to mainly cost and neglect unfortunately. I feel as a sport we missed a big opportunity when we began to appear on Sky TV. We would have been better off ring fencing a proportion of the Sky income on centres of excellence for youngsters to try the sport and develop their talents, rather than grabbing the odd five minutes here and there after meetings, where there is no guarantee of actually taking to the track, as it depends largely on the smooth running of a fixture. Instead, the sport effectively handed the Sky money over to the Elite League number ones, the majority of whom are of course foreign.

I get asked regularly by fathers where they can take their lads to have a try at Speedway or to get some regular practice. My stock answer to this question has been to advise them to move to Denmark and nothing at the moment would give me reason to change that opinion.

Welcome to Newcastle and our sponsors this evening.
A warm welcome then this evening to Perry Barr for the riders, mechanics, management team and especially the supporters of the Newcastle Diamonds, in what will be our first home Premier League fixture of the season. I would also like to offer a very warm welcome to John Barnes and his colleagues from Mercedes-Benz Birmingham Central who are this evenings match sponsors, I hope you all enjoy what should be a cracker of a meeting.

I believe the Diamonds are a formidable side and I see them as a major threat to our winning a trophy this season. Tonight will surely be a good indicator on how far the Brummies have come since the start of the season. I would particularly like to welcome young Danish rider René Bach to Perry Barr. René is a rider whose progress I have followed very closely for a few years and I am particularly proud that I was able to bring him to the UK and give him his British debut with Peterborough during the early part of last season. The fact he had to play truant from school for a couple of meetings, is something we probably shouldn’t go in to. If you add Kenni Larsen, Mark Lemon, Jason King, Derek Sneddon, Adam McKinna and Aussie prospect Dakota North into the mix, then it begins to make your backside twitch with regards to protecting our 100% home record.

A carvery at Sheffield and a near coronary at Stoke.
We comfortably disposed of Stoke here at Perry Barr last week, a meeting, as you know that I was unable to attend. And many thanks for all the sarcastic comments I received for attending Peterborough United’s 75th anniversary, you are all too kind! Once again our away meetings at Sheffield (the £7.50 carvery is to be highly recommended 10/10) and Stoke (the burgers not so highly recommended, but the chips and peas are not bad 7/10), saw more fantastic points winning performances, as we breezed into the last four of the Premier Trophy. We inflicted the biggest home defeat on Sheffield for over a decade and almost inflicted a coronary on Dave Tattum as he ripped into his Stoke riders following the 60-32 mauling. I wonder, has any team ever achieved maximum points before in the qualification stages? If not, that should be our aim.

Keep calm…don’t panic.
I really have a good feeling about our side. Everything is going swimmingly well, but we all must keep our feet firmly planted on the ground, we have won absolutely nothing yet. Zilch. Our trophy cabinet – if we have a trophy cabinet that is – would still only contain a red and yellow carpet tile with a large heap of dust. This sport is notorious for biting you on the bum, everyone must remain calm and more importantly focussed, and the time to begin to get excited is August, not April.

I have to say though that our team dynamics are spot on and the willingness of riders and mechanics to help each other out in times of need is really a joy to watch. Case in point was the Rye House meeting recently where Captain Jason Lyons was having all sorts of problems with his bike. I walked into the pits to see four of our riders and five of our mechanics surrounding Jason’s machine. Jason was knelt down in the middle like a conductor in front of an orchestra, as parts were being swapped left, right and centre. As a member of the management team, seeing that sort of thing is just as satisfying as seeing one of our riders winning a race. There are no big time Charlie’s in this side and no ego’s to massage and that is very refreshing. The riders all get on really well with each other and with the management team. It reminds me very much of the Elite League title winning side we assembled at Peterborough in 2006.

We now seem to have a few weeks break from away fixtures which is particularly pleasing for me as my significant other has started to make more noises about decorating again and here’s me thinking I had done enough recently to get me through to the close season at the very least. I guess I need to push on to bank those brownie points, while I have the opportunity. You know, you ladies are not slow in coming forward, are you!

Campbell is not so soup-er,
I recently read some press comments from Edinburgh’s John Campbell where he dismissed the Brummies chances of success this year in what I feel was a fairly disrespectful way to Jason and Johnno. Campbell said, and I quote: “If they are league challengers I'd say they have done really well. Birmingham have a spearhead of two guys, Steve Johnston and Jason Lyons, who are in their late 30s. Although they also have some good youngsters in their team, I feel to have two riders who are nearing the end of their careers, will ultimately stop them”. To be honest, I think that’s a bit of a cheap shot, but I thank John for providing Graham with some ammunition for his pre-meeting team talk each time we face the Monarchs. I know I will be printing this particular article in super size and will pass to Jason and Johnno at the appropriate time.

I was hoping in these notes to write a school half term report for the rider’s performances in the Premier Trophy and give you a bit of an insight into the rider’s personalities as I perceive them. Unfortunately as I’ve rambled on a bit (nothing new there then), this will have to wait until next week.

Please enjoy tonight’s meeting and if you do, share your enjoyment with someone else who has never been to Perry Barr before and bring them along next week!!

Up the Brummies!!

Disclaimer.
Please note all food sampling by myself at away tracks is undertaken for you the supporter and on your behalf. We could actually call it research, or quality control, if you’d like. I should point out that I do actually get fed at home and I wouldn’t want anyone to think I was of a greedy persuasion and also that I receive no fee for undertaking these food sampling trials for you, our supporters. ;D


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A Welcome to Glasgow from the Honorary Brummie here at Perry Barr.
A warm welcome to the riders, mechanics and management team of our opponents tonight, the Glasgow Tigers. I once had the pleasure of sitting next to promoter Stewart Dickson at a BSPA AGM, and I can tell you, he is one funny bloke, if ever there was one. I also warmly welcome any supporters from Glasgow here this evening that have made the long trip, I doff my cap to you, Glasgow to Birmingham and back on a Wednesday evening, you’re obviously being paid far to much. As I write these notes, Glasgow have just beaten the Edinburgh Monarchs in the Monarchs own back yard so I am sure they will arrive here full of confidence. Please enjoy your time with us here at Perry Barr.

I am really enjoying my time here at Perry Barr, this place really does have the “feel good” factor. Everything at this club works like clockwork, if I or anyone else suggests something to be done, it happens almost instantaneously. Our club has a “can do” attitude off the track as well as on it and this is a great tribute to the people working here volunteering their time. I’m not used to this, I am used to having to take the throw in’s, the corners, the goal kicks, the free kicks and the penalty’s etc. I have to say, sometimes I feel like an unused sub here at Perry Barr!

I think it is fair to say that I have been here long enough now to be bestowed with the honour of being called an “honorary Brummie”. What do you reckon? Is that fair? Surprisingly this would not be the first time I have held such an honour. Back in the day during my last couple of years at school, (some would say during Victorian times), I had the pleasure of dating a girl from Redditch who I met on holiday in Margate – well it was THE place in the 70’s, never mind your Torremowhatsitsname - it, of course, all ended in tears; I never really could understand why any girl should have such an unhealthy obsession with the pop star David Essex and I have never fathomed why I should have been so jealous of that fact. Anyway, it was her loss, have you seen David Essex lately? Balding, grey locks of hair, voice like a fog horn. I have to have grey highlights these days just to make me look my age, for goodness sake. Not that I’m bitter you understand.

Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, or not, as is the case.
How difficult is it to purchase a pair of red and yellow striped socks? Is there a world shortage? Does anyone know where the red and yellow sock mountain is? Is it somewhere near the European wine lake? You see, I have got it into my head that I should wear our colours on my plates of meat at our meetings, don’t ask why, I don’t know why, I just want to, ok? I have spent hours on the internet and I can find every combination of stripes you could wish for and more often fairly cheaply at around the £2 mark, but red and yellow, nope. The nearest I can get has been from America, but at £9 plus postage, I think they are taking the proverbial.

I did think of asking the wife to knit me a pair, but her last attempt at knitting something, albeit two decades ago, had me wearing something that would have suited my Grandad better and had one arm considerably longer than the other, despite her objections that it was a deformity of mine and nothing to do with her end product. Nick Barber, are you reading?

Diamonds sparkle extinguished by rampant Brummies.
Wow! What can you say? Whoaa!! As Kelvin Tatum would scream. Did we kick the Diamonds butts or what? For the first few heats I thought this was going to be close, but then the boys just simply moved up a gear and left a trail of destruction in their wake. A stunning performance. The Newcastle promotion of George English and Daryl Illingworth looked in total shock and so they should have been. This was a statement. The mid meeting successive 5-1’s was like a boxer with his opponent on the ropes. Marvellous stuff. Pfft! Diamonds…more like Cubic Zirconia!

The most pleasing aspect for me though was young Jake’s performance. His score belied the efforts he put in and you could see that the Dudley outings had done him the world of good, I am sure that Jake is going to improve meeting upon meeting and this I have no doubt will send even more shock waves around the Premier League tracks.

I will however, feel a lot lot happier when we reach the 12 meetings point and obtain new Green Sheet Averages for the team. Our season possibly hinges on getting all the riders safely through to this point, I know I will a lot more comfortably in my newly decorated bedroom when we reach this target. Incidentally did you realise that four of our team are averaging over 10 points a meeting for home matches and one is averaging over 11 points a meeting (BP included). This is astounding; I can’t ever recall a team doing this before.

Brummies Half Term Premier Trophy School Report.
A bit of fun, but hopefully will give you a little insight to the riders and key people here at Perry Barr.

Lyons, Jason (Head Boy): Jason is an inspirational head boy and is much respected by his fellow students. Always on hand to offer help and advice to the younger students in the class, who all look up to him. Grade A.

Johnson, Steve (Deputy Head Boy): The joker in class but 100% focussed during lessons. Well respected by his fellow students. Always happy to offer advice and experience to his class mates. Grade A.

Summers, Aaron: The shy boy in class. Needs a haircut, looks like a Roman Candle has exploded on top of his head. Eats an unfeasibly large amount of bananas from the school tuck shop, but has worked well in class. Grade A.

Sedgmen, Justin (Teachers Pet): Most improved student in class. Improved performances have led to him taking extra studies at other schools. Justin is currently wrapped in cotton wool until he has completed 12 lessons. Grade A+.

Sweetman, Richard (Girlie Swot): The quiet boy in class. Prefers to complete his lessons with little or no fuss and let his exam marks do the talking. Has undertaken homework with the school at Coventry and achieved top marks. Grade A.

Kerr, Chris (Milk Monitor): Reputation in class for being a bit of a cool dude. Although punctuality has not been an issue, it’s worth noting that he has the least distance to travel to school and is always the last to arrive in class. Grade A.

Anderson, Jake: No one can fault Jake’s endeavours or enthusiasm. Has recently taken some extra studies at another school in order to improve his education. Always helping his other class mates, even when his own studies haven’t gone so well. Grade B+

Drury, Graham (Headmaster): Well respected Headmaster who no one dare answer back (including me).

Drury, Denise (Matron): The school matron knows more about the day to day administration at the school than anyone could ever wish to, an absolute pleasure to study with.

Patchett, Gary (School Governor): Has fulfilled his pre term promises of improving the tuck shop takings during term time.

Bratley, Mick (Dinner Lady): Has continued his project work to sample all the other schools food offerings and report back. Has begun to look bigger around the midriff recently.

Again it would appear I have rambled on for to long, crikey, I even got onto two pages in the programme last week. Thanks to everyone who has commented to me positively about my programme notes and the programme generally, please see me later tonight in the bar for your cheques.

Enjoy the show tonight and please remember, let’s not keep this a secret, let’s spread the word on the Brummies.

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[admin]

Tigers win overshadowed by other events.
I am writing these notes at 3:00am after the Brummies victory over Glasgow, unable to following the events of the previous night. Suffice to say, and as you are probably by now all aware, there was a security incident at the stadium Wednesday evening. Thankfully none of our staff were hurt and really that is the main thing. I am sure the parents of the perpetrators are very proud of their offspring’s chosen profession, how brave is it to threaten ladies with a variety of instruments that belong in a workshop and not at a Speedway meeting? I probably better say no more, for I am certain I would regret it in the coming weeks; however I will say that our admission procedures are now going to change and this will unfortunately affect us all.

Fair play to the Tigers for coming to Perry Barr and putting in a decent effort against our lads. From what little I saw of the meeting they were by far the best team to visit us this season. I spoke with Scottish referee Christine Turnbull during the meeting, it was her first time at Perry Barr and she was very impressed with our facilities. She was less than impressed though with her Scottish counterparts starting techniques, I think that’s the most re-runs I have seen in a meeting for a long while.

Olsson by name but not Olsen by nature……thankfully.
All rise. Let us all stand up and salute Mr. Tony Olsson who is going to be the saviour of our wonderful sport. The Leszno GP last weekend was simply stunning. For goodness knows how long, we have had to watch a succession of boring Grand Prix’s raced on tracks as bald as a Badgers wotsit, the reason why, in my opinion, to keep the advertisements clean on the air fence. Over the years and having now successfully forced most of the big sponsors into submission – because the product was boring – there is no need to keep the banners clean, because there are hardly any real sponsors left with banners on the air fence. Step forward Tony Olsson to instruct track preparation as it should be done, by the people who know how, the local track curators. It isn’t rocket science is it?

I have forgotten the last time I enjoyed a GP so much. During 2004 – 2008 I attended virtually every GP in Hans Andersen’s pit corner, but it got to the point where I just could not watch what was being served up each time anymore. It was b-o-r-i-n-g. Rubbish prepared tracks should not have any place for the top 16 riders in the world to showcase their talents. And it is so important to get the product correct, the knock on is phenomenal. Just imagine if someone was channel hopping from the Birmingham area last Saturday night and they stumbled upon the Leszno GP. They would think flippin’ heck, this is good. Don’t we have this at Perry Barr? You know what, I’m gonna give that a go.

Even the motley collection of Sky pundits got a little bit more excited than normal. Sam “stick a fork in it I’m done buddy” Ermolenko, enthused that the super Swede running the show would be making the Danes spit feathers as they preferred to race on a billiard table. Gary “former world champion – don’t you wish you had a quid for every time they said that on Sky” Havelock, was delighting in the fact that Ole would be real upset and Scott “Bugsy Malone” Nicholls preferred to sit on the fence for fear of jeopardising his future chances of a recall to the series, where he may for the first time have a track to race on and enjoy.

Welcome to the Berwick ‘A & J Scott Ltd’ Bandits.
Since the 2009 season Berwick have been spearheaded by a new promotional team in long time supporter and North Berwick butcher John Anderson (no relation to Jake), with popular Cornhill shopkeeper Linda Waite (no relation to former promoter Peter Waite). We therefore warmly welcome to Perry Barr, John and Linda, the rest of the management team from Berwick, the riders and mechanics and most importantly the supporters of the Bandits who have made the long trip down to Perry Barr this afternoon.

Berwick is a lovely place to visit in this country, some of the scenery is spectacular and the Berwick race track is pretty good as well. I have been there once for an open meeting and very much look forward to my second visit later this season on the Brummies northern tour (pending approval from the wife).

Brummies go green in tree planting ceremony.
The club recently held a tree planting ceremony at the stadium where over 80 trees were planted to assist in the baffling of any noise from the track on race days. Our supporters sponsored the majority of the trees, which is a brilliant gesture, and councilors turned up to witness the planting and even had a go themselves. All good positive stuff for our future here at Perry Barr and big thanks goes to everyone who was involved and/or contributed.

Stick-er with it.
This evening, the first 500 programmes we issue will contain a free car sticker for supporters to advertise our club. I am a great believer in car stickers as an advertising medium, but I am not a great believer in supporters having to pay for them, as I think this takes the proverbial. I would ask you all please to put these stickers in your vehicles and join me in becoming a co-promoter of the Brummies. If you have received a sticker and don’t have a car, then please pass to a member of your family or friend or fellow supporter to put in the back of their car.

It is important for us to get the Brummies name circulating in Birmingham; nothing would give any of us more pleasure than to see this stadium packed to the rafters in our quest for silverware this season and our team really deserves it, don’t you think? The Brummies must no longer be the best kept secret in Birmingham!

Myself and Gary will be on “sticker patrol” in the near future and will announce a car number plate in our columns regularly and the lucky winners will get to visit the centre green with us to take in some racing or win some other prizes that we haven’t dreamt up yet!

Enjoy tonight’s meeting and let’s hope for another three points to keep us where we belong – at the top of the league.

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[admin]

Sheffield Take Two.
This evening we have our second attempt here at Perry Barr in racing against the Sheffield Tigers this season, the first effort, our Premier Trophy fixture, being rained off in March, in fact I think I have only just finished getting dry from that night. A warm welcome to the promotion team of Neil Machin, David Hoggart and Eric Boocock, their officials, riders, mechanics and most importantly, their supporters, you are all very welcome here at Perry Barr.

Unfortunately I won’t be at Perry Barr this evening and I’m not happy to be missing my second meeting of the season, especially as I really feel this will be a close one. Before any smart alec says it, no, I am not decorating! I know Patch will be keeping me up to speed with the score, but I can assure you I will be here in spirit.

I think the Sheffield boys are still smarting from us tanning their backsides during April in their own backyard, so I would not be surprised to see a backlash tonight. I know Sheffield rider Richard Hall and his father very well, we have been together through some Speedway experiences at both ends of the spectrum over the years and I know they were hurting a lot after our visit to Owlerton (I found it very hard to keep a straight face, mind). Suffice to say, the Brummies will need to be on their game this evening in our quest for Knockout Cup glory, complacency has no room here at Perry Barr.

I want to be elected – my ‘X’ Factor dilemma.
I guess we can’t let this evening pass without making reference to the big event happening tomorrow, the British Semi Final at Sheffield – no, only kidding – although I do think that will be a decent meeting to attend and not only for the famous £7.50 carvery (10/10). I am, of course, talking about the general election. I don’t know about you but I was sick of it all about an hour after it was first announced and it looks like we will probably be doing it all again in a few months time as a lot of people simply don’t know which way to vote and there is presently no clear winner. I am also of that ilk. I look at the three main leaders and none of them exactly fill me with enthusiasm and nor do their party policies, a bit like the FIM, but more of that later.

I was thinking of putting myself up as a candidate, but I’m not sure the number one policy in my manifesto - commandeering every cement mixer in the UK with the instruction to make it’s way to the channel tunnel to fill it back up - would be everyone’s cup of tea.

In all honesty, I never wanted to be part of the EU and I certainly never wanted the EU to be part of me. I’m pretty certain we did ok before we joined the Common Market didn’t we? Or, is that just one of those romantic thoughts or notions you have when you get older, like when you always harp on about the summers being better when you were a child and that wagon wheels were much bigger when we were growing up?

I think all the parties are missing a trick, for if just one of them would make just one tiny reference to our sport, I think they would probably get thousands of extra votes coming their way that they probably wouldn’t have normally.

So, for the first time ever, I have the dilemma of who will be bestowed the honour of the Bratley ‘X’ tomorrow. Where’s the Monster Raving Loony Party, when for the only time in my life I think I need them?

The New Silencer Hokey Cokey (FIM version) – Join hands everyone….are you ready?
“The new silencers are in
The new silencers are out
In out, in out, shake it all about
You put them on your bike
Then you take them off again
That’s what it’s all about
All do the hokey cokey….all do the hokey cokey….all do the hokey cokey”

It’s all getting a bit tedious now don’t you think? First we are, then we aren’t, then we are. Then the Polish Extra League aren’t, but the Polish first and second divisions are or aren’t if the riders don’t want to. Then Sweden are, then they aren’t. Then Denmark are, then they aren’t. But we definitely aren’t for the SGP, yet we definitely are for the SWC. Confused? You bet.

di-rec-tive – (noun) – an authoritative instruction or direction; specific order – (courtesy of dictionary.com)
Here’s me thinking the silencer issue was a directive (that’s a di-rec-tive) from the sports governing body, the FIM. Does the ‘M’ in FIM stand for maybe or might? Perhaps the ‘I’ stands for indecisive or irresolute? Needless to say, I’ve got a pretty good idea what the F should stand for. Why can’t someone somewhere put their head above the turret, grow some and make a flippin’ decision and stand by it? And, surely there is only one decision to make, otherwise what has all the fuss been about?

Berwick meeting
As someone pointed out to me, it was somewhat apt or ironic that the Bandits were our first opponents following our security incident at the meeting before. Thankfully the Bandits never got to leave Perry Barr with anything but dented pride, but for the first few heats they made a real fist of things by keeping the score close. The Brummies then moved up a gear (how many times have we said that this season) and it resulted in a 60-32 tonking.

I can’t ever remember being on the winning side of a 60:32 meeting where the winning teams number one had an off night and contributed only 4+2, such is the strength in depth that we have. The Sedgehammer unfortunately shed a chain in his first ride but went on to be unbeaten by an opponent in his following four rides, we also had three riders scoring paid maximums, what a performance.

The Sedgehammer has had a busy few days, guesting for Scunthorpe at Somerset on Friday night. Saturday night he answered my SOS to mechanic for Hans Andersen at Eastbourne, Sunday, obviously here at Perry Barr and Monday, I understand he was riding as a guest for Ipswich at Foxhall. I guess he will be happy when he gets Tuesday off to prepare for our meeting tonight.

Hopefully you will have received your free car sticker at Sunday’s meeting. Please, put this in your car windows and help promote the club. If you missed getting a sticker, we have a few left over, so please see me at the next meeting. I hope you all enjoy the meeting this evening and thank you for your continuous fantastic support of the Brummies.

Sock update – I got some! Thanks very much to those concerned, you know who you are; I shall wear them with pride. Wish I’d gone on about a flat screen TV now……

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