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Post by admin on Sept 14, 2020 8:35:04 GMT
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Post by admin on Sept 15, 2020 8:18:00 GMT
I was shocked at price of those 'Ancestry DNA kits', so rather than spend £150, I just announced that I had won the lottery... I quickly found out who my relatives were!  |
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Post by admin on Sept 17, 2020 21:58:52 GMT
A vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on my door. Before I spoke he tipped a bucket of dog shit over my carpet & said, "If this vacuum doesn't remove every trace of it I'll personally eat what's left." I replied, "I hope you're hungry because they cut off my electric this morning!" |
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Post by admin on Sept 28, 2020 7:46:17 GMT
Jokes UK@jokesukIf two vegans have an argument is it still called a 'beef'? Or is it a quornfrontation?
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Post by rodders on Oct 20, 2020 12:44:17 GMT
Today I had occasion to dial 101 over a certain matter. Having gone through a lot of waffle about the virus and press this if you want that and this if you want something else. The last thing was dial 999 for an emergency. Suspect if it was an emergency the situation would be irretrievable by then. On the subject of press this and that stuff how many times is the choice you require not there?
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Post by admin on Oct 20, 2020 19:34:00 GMT
On the subject of press this and that stuff how many times is the choice you require not there? That's so true these days. The amount of times you're told to listen to all options but there still isn't one applicable to your problem. More irritating is that the option to hang on the line to speak to an advisor seems to be becoming less of an option if an option at all these days. |
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Post by rodders on Oct 20, 2020 19:51:14 GMT
On my particular problem having gone through all the options was give a telephone number to ring which having given many more non applicable options advised to dial 101 again
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Post by admin on Oct 20, 2020 21:17:37 GMT
On my particular problem having gone through all the options was give a telephone number to ring which having given many more non applicable options advised to dial 101 again Sounds about right. Bit like have you tried our website which probably gives you the number that got you to this point of being directed back to the website |
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Post by admin on Oct 25, 2020 22:58:41 GMT
Who's looking forward to next weekend |
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Post by admin on Nov 16, 2020 22:02:41 GMT
Jokes UK@jokesuk 16/11/20Getting offended by something posted on the internet is like choosing to step in dog shit instead of walking around it!
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Post by admin on Dec 1, 2020 21:18:27 GMT
Jokes UK@jokesuk 1/12/20Not saying I live in a rough area but just bought an advent calendar and half the windows are boarded up! Sounds like the ones that they sell in Paston
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Post by admin on Dec 6, 2020 10:00:47 GMT
Tears of a Clown@Modmuffin 5/12/20A Coronavirus vaccine side effect could be that you start to find Michael McIntyre funny. It's not worth the risk...
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Post by admin on Dec 19, 2020 15:34:49 GMT
I’m selling my ‘dogging’ equipment on eBay just now... No bids yet, but I’ve got 12 people watching... |
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Post by Hodgy on Dec 19, 2020 15:47:04 GMT
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Post by admin on Dec 19, 2020 17:18:39 GMT
Manuel put a bet on for Basil and Sybil must not know, especially as it won:
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Post by rodders on Dec 19, 2020 22:29:18 GMT
I had intended to spend the day procrastinating but on reflection I will wait till tomorrow
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Post by admin on Dec 19, 2020 22:43:27 GMT
I had intended to spend the day procrastinating but on reflection I will wait till tomorrow I'm going to stay up until midnight to see the new tier in |
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Post by admin on Dec 19, 2020 22:47:03 GMT
Christina Patterson on Sky paper review, she's enough to suck the oxygen out of any room.
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Post by admin on Dec 20, 2020 10:14:53 GMT
Jokes UK@jokesuk 20/12/20Thoughts and prayers to all the men in Tier 4 who were leaving their shopping until Christmas Eve!
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Post by Hodgy on Dec 20, 2020 12:49:21 GMT
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Post by admin on Dec 21, 2020 11:54:19 GMT
Bob For A Full Brexit@boblister_poole 21/12/20
NEW HOME WANTED !!!!! - This is due to the purchase of Bella, an 8 week-old German Sheppard, bought for my wife as a surprise Christmas present but she is allergic to dogs so I'm now urgently looking to find her a new home without charge: Her name is Angie she's 45 years old, a beautiful and caring woman
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Post by admin on Dec 23, 2020 13:10:11 GMT
Tears of a Clown@Modmuffin 23/12/20It was a lovely thing that the Sikh community did delivering meals to the stranded lorry drivers in Kent, but with limited toilet facilities I'm not sure curry was the wisest choice of food...
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Post by admin on Dec 25, 2020 18:06:07 GMT
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Post by Hodgy on Dec 27, 2020 11:07:51 GMT
Attachments:
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Post by admin on Dec 28, 2020 20:55:51 GMT
Jokes UK@jokesuk 28/12/20"Right class," said the teacher. "Who can make a sentence with the word 'contagious'?" Little Johnny threw up his hand excitedly. "Yes, Johnny?" "My dad saw our neighbour painting his fence with a little brush, and said it'll take the contageous!" - think about it
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